"Hello" in India

"Hello" is an important word in any language, I think. In India it's a frequently used word, and it is super important to understand what it means. Here are a few uses for the word:

Hello means I have something to sell you, something you want, or I urgently need your attention. As in: Hello. Hello. Hello madam. Hello. Hello madam. Hello money. Hello money. Hello school pen. Frequently used by rickshaw drivers, restauranteurs, shopkeepers, vendors, beggars, and children.

The second use is found in Delhi, in the backpacker ghetto of Paharganj. Here "hello" means: you might want to move aside or I will run you over with my cycle rickshaw. It's a courtesy, and there is a risk of actually getting hit. When you hear "hello" in Delhi, just move to the side of the road. If you can; Delhi's streets are a tiny bit busy.

The third and most annoying use of the word hello comes from the more affluent of India's men. You hear this one any time a man answers his cell phone. It goes like this: "HELLO!" Always shouted, regardless of hour or location. I guess some things are universal, eh?